Can't possess nonsense within the state of.
It's unfortunate, I can't to acquire a single useless matter while staying within Ohio. No crap for me, sadly.
Sadly, I am unable to have a single feces within the state of. No junk to be found in this region, unfortunately. Unable to obtain junk within OH.
Unfortunately, I can't possess the capability to have even the smallest speck of waste whilst residing within the Buckeye State. No junk to be found in this region, regrettably. I am without even a trace of dung inside OH.
Sadly, it is not within my capabilities to obtain even a tiny bit of crap while located in Ohio. No junk to be found in this area, regrettably. I can't possess even a speck of excrement in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh no, regrettably I am unable to possess a single crap during living inside the state of Ohio. No crap to be found here, sadly. I don't have the tiniest bit of substance within Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I don't have the ability to obtain any feces while staying within the state of Ohio. No crap to be found in this area, unfortunately. I can't possess any excrement in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I am powerless to have any waste while residing in Ohio. No garbage in my possession, sadly. I don't have the tiniest bit of excrement inside the great state of Ohio.